inlovewithwords: (collide)
Lee ([personal profile] inlovewithwords) wrote2013-02-04 10:48 pm

If tonight were not a crooked trail

Remember how I said the hard part was going to be keeping things up after that initial spike? I know myself pretty well. I’m starting to run into that problem, at least a little bit. Luckily I am still capable of forcing myself to write, even when my brain starts spouting things like “Eh, it’s all right, just take it easy and you’ll make up the words tomorrow.”

Of course, it’s not about full count of words, it’s about regularity. Getting that idea through my head will be hard. Maybe I’ll learn to stop procrastinating, though. That would be helpful for going back to school.

Speaking of school and will-power and doing things, I am going to email a potential mandolin teacher tonight. (Again, read: ‘before I go to sleep.’) I’ve been thinking about this for, what, five years? And I was too lazy/full of fail to follow up on it. But I feel like doing it. This is in no small part due to going to the Monday music thingy run a friend from the show I was in two years ago. It was at a bar four blocks or something from where I live, and it’s the last time it’ll run for a while, and it was open mic, so I decided ‘eh, sure, why not.’

Well, luckily I got singing the Math Love Song that no one but me understood any of out of the way before anyone was there. I did end up doing ‘Tomorrow is a Long Time’ by Dylan later on. (One of the guitarists downloaded it on his iPhone and we just winged it. I can, in fact, sing it in two different octaves. Bah, my range.) My general feeling, though, was that I would have had a lot more fun if I could have accompanied myself somehow. This led to my decision to email a guy tonight.

But I should eat, and I should try to focus and get my RP brain back because I have utterly slacked off all week. And frankly, I know what happened—predictable, like clockwork—and now I just have to fight my way clear of it.

I do think that is probably the ultimate goal of trying to do this whole ‘journal-a-day’ business. I need to learn to fight my way through the inertia and the active emotional-gravitational forces that tends to leave me paralyzed and/or caught in the gravity well of the latest mess without any decent way to achieve escape velocity.

I also need to fill out the volunteer form that an ex-dorm-mate of mine sent out last week. It was the other catalyst for this finally taking shape. I will probably write about that tomorrow, though, mostly because I am tired, underfed, and after an evening of awkwardly sitting to one side not speaking to anyone due to knowing basically nobody, I seriously need to unwind. And frankly, my unwinding of choice is going to be Ni no Kuni, because I can’t deal with RP brain and if I try I’ll just make it harder to do so tomorrow.

Tomorrow, with any luck, I will have news of music and/or volunteer-sign-up responses. For now, let’s see if I can scrounge up something my stomach and brain will allow me to eat and then I will go smash cute Ghibli animated animals in the face. With a vengeance.

(Also, I need to straighten out my sleep. After mandolin and volunteer emails are sent, that’s next.)

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